"What do you mean by that?" Gina asked."I...I just mean that..." I stammered."Anyways, all I meant-" Leah started."No, let the girl talk," Kaitlyn insisted. I stared at the girls aroundme with fear like I had never known fear. What on earth was I to say? Ithought what a girl would do in this situation, but no girl had ever beenin this situation. It was then that it occurred to me, and I did what Ithought any girl would do. I rushed from the table, crying hystericallyand ran into the bathroom. I put my back against the wall and waited. Itried to conjure up more tears, and for some odd reason they seemed tocome naturally. It even seemed like the logical thing to do after beingunder so much stress."Emily, open up," I heard Leah's voice. I turned the lock, and Leahslowly came in."Is this fake or real?" Leah said, staring at me with a mix of comfortand confusion. I was about to blurt out fake, but I didn't. Emotionsseemed to continue to build as she stared at me."I-" I started. "I don't. “Perhaps not to you, but every single one of those girls makes it clear that she’s OK with it. I don’t push or pressure. That’s just not me. The same goes for anything else, too. If I get mixed signals, I just let it go.”“Doesn’t everyone give mixed signals? You’re doing it!”“Am I? How? By going on a date with you and not trying to force myself on you? By not begging you for kisses or stuff? That’s not a mixed signal. That’s maturity. Guys and girls can be friends, even go out, without having sex.”“Who said anything about sex? I’m talking about kissing and holding hands!”“And even in that, you send mixed signals! Why did you feel the need to comment about the scene on the El between Joel and Lana? I didn’t have my arm around you or anything like that. I wasn’t even thinking about you that way!”“Why? All guys think that way! That’s what they want! That’s what you want!”“Carla!” I said sharply. “Stop it! Just stop! Have I done a single thing to make you think that’s what I’m after? You.
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