” All was said in a way as if she were preaching, and looking me full in the face.She refused what I wanted and avoided me, but it was impossible for her altogether to escape me. Risking everything, emboldened by impunity with Charlotte, I used to clutch her knees, and put my head up her clothes, kissing and smelling her motte, I began to love the smell of it. She used to dislodge me, and neither made a noise, nor uttered a word in doing so —indeed she rarely spoke at any time. But it is difficult for a woman who has been fucked by a man to refuse him again; I watched my opportunities, my conversation broken as it was, and rarely but for a minute at a time, was one repetition of lustful wants and prayers; I used to pull my prick out, beg her to see and feel it. At length she did, saying, “May God forgive me for my weakness.” That day I fucked her again standing in the kitchen, and a second time a few hours afterwards in the dusk, which experience began to show me was the time she was. "This isour full package. It includes everything our clinic has to offer."Mom looked down the long list, then frowned when she reached the priceat the bottom. "That's a bit more than I think we can afford. DoesDerrick really need all those things?" Oh no, Mrs. Thomlin. We just like to let potential clients know aboutall we have to offer." The doctor tapped the second chart, which was alot shorter. "This is what most children Derrick's age choose." Sheturned her attention from my mom to me. "By the way, were you planningon keeping that name?"I squirmed in my chair. "Actually, I was thinking of Marissa." That's a very pretty name. I haven't heard it in years."I turned from Dr. Nari to my mom. "Is it okay for me to use that name?"My mom smiled warmly and looked like she was blinking back tears. "Ithink it's wonderful. I also think your grandmother would be proud tohave you carry on her name." I sighed with relief and smiled back. It hadn't been until the last fewyears of her life when.
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