" You sure? They could die." Yeah, a lot of things could die. Mymarriage. My sense of self. Flowers - not a big deal."Yes I am sure. Thanks." And she walked out.I read the card. "I am so sorry. I fucked up. Please forgive me, mybeautiful rose. Love,Dan." My beautiful rose? I almost lost my beautiful lunch.I took scissors from my drawer and cut the flowers in half. I took apicture and texted Jess. 'Fuck you. Contact me again and I go for arestraining order - and I can get one, remember? I am serious. P.S.,Flowers? Seriously?'Mike came in to talk about a case. He saw the flowers in the garbage."So, on a scale of 1 to 10, how deep in shit is he?"That made me laugh. "44." Sorry to hear that. Anything you need, you let me know." Thanks. I'm good. I'll call if I need bail," I said, with a smile.I left work and went to the gym. I had no reason to go home. I took aspin class then went to lift. Lifting always relaxed me when I was Dan.There's something primal about. She didn't think that and Ruth and I continued our “virtual” relationship that very evening. But the missed opportunity was never discussed between us, and we pretended as if it never happened. But, dumbass, I said to myself as I remembered this was a lucid dream, you can change the outcome! You can play this out as it should have happened and if you don’t get it right, just rewind and start over. Even in my forties I was pretty dense when it came to understanding Ruth! I tried to clear my mind of the earlier shabby performance and concentrate on getting it right this time. Once again, Ruth and I were in the canoe. The sun was shining, the breeze was warm, and there was not a soul around us. To be sure of not being interrupted by another speeding dickwad, I pictured the entire Washington, metropolitan area as having been evacuated following an alien invasion. Ruth and I were the only humans on this river for a hundred miles. There would be no interruption this time. “I’m tired, going.
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