At the same time, I was very angry at myself, I thought of all my possible ways out, I couldn't stay a man, because I dreamt about being a girl, about having boobs, having a pussy, to be able to feel myself sexy whenever I wanted. Starting a sex change had major problems, one was that I lived in a very old society (compared to the US) and it would break my parents heart to have a transsexual son and, it wouldn't be easy either, as there aren't sex change doctors who help transsexuals here, believe me, I looked. The other reason was, as I already told you, I was a very muscular and square shouldered man, and, rightfully I thought, no man would like a woman who looks like an Olympic male swimmer.You may be wondering what happened with my girlfriend? Well, as I told you before, she found these strange little things about me, and she realized my problem even before I did. By the time this happened she was the only woman who could give me a boner, and that was because I loved her. That. We were back in our role as scouts and skirmishers. The fort that had grown while I was out enjoying myself was a semicircle with an open side toward the southeast, almost on the shore of the point. Several redoubts fronted it, and there were obviously a number of emplacements for large cannon. The small town of York was visible just across the narrow river, and a bigger fort was still growing there. When I arrived at what they called "Gloster," Lafayette's soldiers were digging a line of trenches and gun emplacements facing the young fort.Since I was late getting to the scene, they told me I had drawn the short straw, and my job would be to scout out the enemy's lines, measure distances to various points and discover the number and weight of his guns. I asked to see the straws, and my old comrades just smiled.So on every moonless night for the next week, especially on those evenings when it rained, I was out there between the lines counting paces to the British redoubts, trying to.
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