Thank you for reading!*************** There is a knock on the door. Isn’t that always how it starts? A knock on the door. Or how it ends depending on the state of one’s life. She peeks through the peephole, opens the door. No one is there. ‘Sorry,’ he steps into view from her left. He has a gun in his left hand and a bag in his right. ‘Sorry to do this to you on such short notice.’ She hesitates for a moment, then steps aside to allow him entry. He drops the bag on the floor and trains the gun on her chest. She inhales. ‘I always like to call before I pop in.’ He shuts the door with his foot and drops all the blinds on her windows, shoves one open while muttering something about wanting a breeze. ‘You expecting anyone?’ ‘No.’ ‘Don’t be lying, did your lip just twitch a bit?’ ‘Fuck you,’ she says. She steps back, bumps into the back of her black suede love seat. His eyes dart to her hands. ‘Where is he?’ ‘Who?’ ‘That’s the thing, Mira, you know exactly who I’m talking about. What did. Whoa Shithead, whoa Asshole, whoa Stupid, whoa Putz,Either slow down this rig or I’ll cut off your nuts.Look out for the lamp post, and don’t hit the tree,Quit shaking the sleigh, ‘cause I gotta go pee.They cleared the old lamp post; the tree got a rub,Just as Santa leaned out and threw up on my shrub.And then from the roof we heard such a clatter,As each little reindeer now emptied his bladder.I was donning my jacket to cover my ass,When down the chimney Santa came with a crash.His suit was all smelly with perfume galore,He looked like a bum and he smelled like a whore.“That was some brothel” he said with a smile”The reindeer are pooped, and I’ll just stay here awhile.He walked to the kitchen; himself poured a drink,Then whipped out his pecker and pissed in the sink.I started to laugh, my wife smiled with glee,The old boy was hung nearly down to his knee.Back in the den, Santa reached in his sack,But his toys were all gone, and some new things were packed.The first thing he found was.
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