She began talking while I kept typing. There was something familiar about her that I couldn't place, as I only saw part of her face. “Hi Daddy, can we play?” she asked in a sweet southern accent that had a familiarity to it. “Sure baby, how old are you?” (I always ask, as law enforcement seems to think this is their playground too.) “I'm 22, how old are you?” I typed “47, but I'm not dead yet.” (There's that wit I was talking about.) She smiled and asked for proof; “not yet, I need to see what's under your t-shirt to make me really come to life.” She stood up and I could see the writing on her t-shirt; it said “Special Orders DO Upset Me” This was a reference to an old burger fast food ad, where they said special orders don't upset them. “Are you a waitress?” “Yes” she said. I typed, “I'm patiently waiting for that shirt to come off.” She was standing so I could not see her face, but she gave me a thumbs up. I could see that she was only wearing panties as she slowly pulled the shirt. My young and naive little sister Heather introduced my tormentors to my parents."Mom, Dad, meet Frank and his wife...??” she looked at Frank's wife waiting for her to complete her sentence."Lydia” Frank's wife said with a smile and shook my dad's and mom's hands. "Nice to meet you Frank and Lydia, I'm Jim and this is my wife Rachel” my dad politely replied."And you already know Joanie” Heather said as I was looking around for a hole in the ground to bury myself from embarrassment. Heather explained to my parents how they met at dinner last night and told them about how it's their third time on this cruise."He said he could show us all the cool places once we get to Aruba.” Heather said with excitement.Frank chuckled “Yes I offered my tour guide skills but I'm not cheap.” He burst into laughter and as he did his belly wobbled. I knew he didn't really think it was funny, he just wanted to test the water and see how my father would react to the fact that a middle aged man was offering.
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