I think I lost her trust. She didn't seem like she would completely let go anymore.I know during our arguments, of which we had many over the years, she would always bring up trust. I tried to explain to her that I couldn't change the past. I wish I could but I can't. During a couple of arguments I asked her if she wanted me to leave? All she would say is, "Leave if you want to. There is no one holding you back. Go if you want to go." It hurt me. Her not caring really hurt me.I don't know how many times I thought about leaving. I loved my kids and they loved me. I loved Mary but about the only time she said, "I Love You," was in a birthday or anniversary card. I'll take that back. Whenever I would walk up to her and say, "I love you," she would say, "I love you too." It seems strange now but that is the absolute God's truth.God how I miss her. I'm sitting here and she keeps coming into my mind and all the little things she did for me. To most people they might say, "Big fucking. On a long weekend Friday like this most of the other executives do not even bother coming into the office. But a guy like me doesn't make it to this floor by the age of 38 without an internal drive system.I have long been motivated for two things in my life, my success within business to which I have very comfortably made a few steps up the corporate ladder. Growing up in a less than privileged single parent household, and while my mother worked hard as a nurse, there was never quite enough for everything. I vowed to my mom then that I would retires her by the time I was 40. To which I can proudly state that my mom is living comfortably in Playacar Mexico.The other is in regards to my health. While I may dress like an everyday exec, underneath even the God Adonis would be jealous. Since shortly after being humiliated during football tryouts for being too scrawny, I vowed to never have that happen again. Over the years I have allowed some of the mass to fade but my tone and shape is.
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