There were many reasons cited for it. Among them was peer pressure, to create a desirable sexy look, and lastly, as an appetite suppressant. Many girls used cigarettes to merely keep their weight down. By the time they wanted to, most girls couldn't quit. I wanted to be one of those girls. I wanted to lose that control, become a smoker, and tie it to my crossdressing (and being one of those girls). I finished that pack of cigarettes, then bought another. I decided to buy that same brand. Later I tried Virginia Slims and More, but I went back to the Newport Lights to emulate that first girl more. I never fully achieved that goal. I never became the habitual smoker, but do partake when dressed sometimes. In fact, I've used smoking as another psychological reinforcement for crossdressing and only smoke while dressed. The sexiest I've ever felt while dressed was with red lipstick staining a cigarette held between two fingers with red shaped nails on the end of them. Although I like to. She took the swimsuits from me and headed back to the changing rooms. I stood there listening to soft rock over the PA system, and thinking Goodbye Yellow Brick Road wasn't such a bad song after all. Then Elton John gave way to Tears for Fears, and then Simply Red, whom I'd never really cared for. I started to get impatient and wondered what was taking Mel so long. I decided to go back into the change area to see if I could hurry her up. There were four stalls on each side and one at the end with a wheelchair sign on it. Despite the store being fairly busy, the change rooms were surprisingly not. There was only one stall occupied. I knocked gently on the door. "Mel?" I asked. "Are you alright?" "Yeah, I'm fine," she answered through the door. "I think I've narrowed it down to three... um, just give me a minute." "Okay." Simply Red passed into Alan Parson's Project. My mother had been fond of all these bands when I was growing up. They were the soundtrack of the endless boring car.
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