There were too many nights when I just didn't eat at all so Olivia could be assured of having something for her next day's breakfast and lunch when not in school.The only thing that saved my dear daughter from a childhood of near malnutrition was that The Church sponsored the local school lunch program.Our irregular eating habits came to a final end our second Thanksgiving Eve in Lovett. We were in the small town supermarket and I was counting my pennies to be exactly sure I had just enough money to pay for the small scrawny chicken, a few wilted vegetables from the bargain bin, and a loaf of "reduced for quick sale" hard as rock bread from which I thought I could make a little stuffing. This was to be our Thanksgiving feast the next day. I was holding little Olivia in my arms and she kept looking at the "big chickens" (turkeys) the other shoppers in front and in back of us in line had in their carts. She kept asking if we could have one of the big chickens instead. Finally I said. The Bouncer sees she’s out of sorts as she doesn’t even make eye contact, and heads straight to the bar to get more drink orders that are up for her tables. The night seems to go forever, as she stays in a daze, making smalltalk with patrons, but her hearts no longer in it, her heart walked out the door 2 hours ago with John, the man she never stopped loving, who she was sure now despised her, or if he didn’t, and had time to think, would by morning. She finally walked home, straight to her tiny apartment, a long way from the swanky hotels she and John used to stay in, as she peels off her outfit, the corset feeling tighter and tighter as the night progressed, and spends 45 minutes under the hot shower water, thinking about John, about everything she’s done to him, about why he has every right to never want to talk to her again. Unable to stomach eating anything, she gets some water, and goes to her room, closing the door, and sliding under the sheets naked, laying on her back.
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