Eventually I was doing 100 kegels each morning in bed when I woke up, not holding them, but just doing them quickly and holding the 100th one in for 10-30 seconds. I found that by doing it more often, I could hold the muscle contracted for longer periods. Contraction of this muscle also makes your penis "jerk" a bit when erect, and when not erect, I noticed my scrotum would "jerk" a bit.I also noticed myself scouting out possible locations for an outdoor masturbation session. I even took a long walk around my area and found a small forested-type area, but I concluded that it was too close to houses and main streets.I noticed that on a few days, I would have a dull ache in my scrotum area, it wasn't anything major or unmanageable, but I wondered if it was my abstinence causing it (like having "blue balls" - vasoconstriction, where goes to the scrotum during arousal but if you don't ejaculate, the stays there and becomes uncomfortable even giving your scrotum a purple/bluish colour).. " Very well," I said. "I'll call again if and when I have word." I clicked off.And now I had no sense at all what I should do. Stroll around Charleston and make myself a target? I still had more faith in Spook's and my plan if he should take me, but I'd promised Lee I wouldn't open myself up like that. Sit tight and wait for Estrada to re-surface? But then the ball would be in his court, he'd know where I was but I wouldn't about either him or his people. Go start a hunt of my own in my car? It would be a needle in a haystack, and I was sure he'd be under cover.The whole thing had gone badly wrong, and we weren't even into the end game. Maybe Lee was right, maybe I was—maybe we were, Spook and I—outmatched. For all that Spook was a computer, Estrada was seasoned at this stuff and we weren't.I debated calling Lee, asking for any ideas she might have, but decided to postpone for now. I always wondered if things might have worked out differently if I had. But in sober afterthought I.
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