Moira was still me but at the same time she (I) was not me. It was as if the left side of my brain had gone on dimmer switch and the right side glowed more brightly. My tastes changed. I felt much, much more giving. I felt an overwhelming need to be connected to people, to form relationships, whereas the male me was much more self-contained and a loner by nature. The paradox was that as Moira I couldn't socialize, but the boy I was most of the time could be with other people whenever I wanted. There were more superficial changes, too. I walked differently, sat differently, moved my hands differently, even sounded different, all without any effort. It seemed like a case of galloping schizophrenia, but I was quite clear headed at those times-- much more together (and happier) than I had ever been as a boy, and certainly lucid enough to know that I could never share myself as Moira with anyone else. And, with one exception, I never did. When I was sixteen, my sister married and moved. You were one of the reviewers at the academy when we were doing our basics. I read some of your husband's books on forensics and Homicide Investigation. He was sort of a hero of mine with the changes he made."Suddenly, Martha was keenly aware of the age difference between Jimmy and her. She was just turning 52 and he could not have been older than 29 and that was a world of difference. Still, he was an attractive lad and she certainly wasn't doing anything wrong just by being civil and talking to the young man."Yes, Jimmy, I certainly do remember. You did extremely well on the finals and I see you are honing your skills in self-defense."The charming young man laughed and admitted,"I am not that good at this stuff, Mrs. Goodpenney. I need to do a lot of practicing before I even get a belt. You sure are good at it. No fellow better try anything on you in a dark alley."Martha laughed at his easy manner and saw that he was just being friendly because they were both involved in police.
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