I wasn't going to hurt myself. That was her primary concern. Thatwould've been selfish, wasteful, and would've made all the work I'd doneover the past months meaningless. We talked on the phone for over anhour, before I was able to say goodbye.Even though I'd been walking fine for over a month, the hospital made mesit in a wheelchair and get wheeled out to the car. Liz was driving mehome in my car, and as I sat in the passenger seat I realized something."I'm not going to be able to drive this anymore." What do you mean?" Liz gave me a look."I'm too short, this car won't work. I won't be able to reach thepedals, or see over the steering wheel." Life had changed, all right."Hmm" Liz always was good with words.The drive home was pretty uneventful, we didn't talk much. We'd talkedmore the past two months than we had in the entire 10 years we'd beenmarried, I guess we were both all talked out.When we got home, Vicki, Cindy, and Adam were already there. I guess Iwasn't quite done. And die he would, there was no question about that. Most probably he would die from dehydration soon after he had emptied his bowels. It was not the fact the he was dying that bothered me. I had planned it, and made it happen. On the other hand, I knew that he had killed several times, and he had raped. If he ever got arrested there would be a huge risk that some of his friends would just take tens of hostages and demand that he be released. Most likely it would happen since there was no way that he would ever be convicted in public trial. But still I felt like I had just sold the last piece of my soul.I had not always been like that.End of summer 2004, Khao Lak, ThailandToey was ready to admit that I was her man and that she was my woman, but in the beginning she was not willing to go any further than that. It was a week later when I had her laying on top of me after our latest session when I decided to tell her my history. I told her about my wild high school time, about Lisa and.
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