I could feel what I could see -- my breasts, my hips, my arms... all perfect. I knew that my dream, if it was a dream, was one I didn't wish to awaken from.So, I swallowed hard, gulping, and spoke softly, "I am a woman." I'd said that before many times, but now I had the biology to prove it. I stood nervously, the water from the bath dripping from me, unwilling to move -- unwilling to take any action that would end this beautiful illusion, this dramatically instant end to my life's suffering.So, before I was transsexual, a woman's brain in a man's body. No longer I was complete, finally.It was many minutes before I dared to move, picking up some clothes as I did. Nothing fancy, you understand, just the jeans and T-shirt that I'd worn before... before I changed. The satisfaction I felt when they did not fit me...I remember it well.Dry and dressed, I moved downstairs carefully, still assuming my currentphysicality was as transitory and fragile as my own sanity. It was in my kitchen. He tied my wrists, arms, knees and thighs to the legs of the table. I saw him walk up to the bag and get something from the inside; a ball gag. Suddenly this did not seem like a good idea anymore. I wanted to tell him to stop, that I did not want this to continue but, to my surprise, I restrained myself. Besides, he might have ignored my desires anyway; I told him to."I don't want to hear you scream too much, not tonight," he said.Then he said, "Open up."Once immobilized and rendered mute, he picked up the bullwhip. He let the thin end of the tapering braided leather trail over my face. I kissed the leather strip at its end."Let's start with a few cuts to that delectable ass of yours."His words sounded slurred, not by the whiskey, he could drink way more than that and not feel it, more likely by his own excitement.He cracked the whip on the air a few times, experimentally. I screamed every time, although it probably sounded more like a moan through my ball gag.I sensed rather than saw.
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