This equation made things worse .She felt hurt, ashamed and angered. She abruptly got up and went inside slamming the doors. I was stunned and after some moments followed her inside. I found her weeping silently. Not knowing what to do I went near her and said maami, I am sorry if I have hurt you”. She just stared at me and gave strong slap. Tears rolled over my eyes and I went into my room and lay on the mat. I did not know when I slept. I woke up to my favourite smell and an affectionate caressing of my cheek. It was still night and Maami was there sitting besides. I tried to get up but she did not allow. She fell over me and kissed my forehead saying I am sorry.I slapped you, but you should not have talked like that. I was confused and said Maami I was just telling the truth she said you are still a innocent boy from a village, do not talk like this to any one like this, otherwise you get eaten up. I said ‘its okay Maami where is Maamaa, has he not come back from office as yet.. If I tried to get the other procedure would they tell me I was too far along too? I began to doubt myself, I just wanted this nightmare to end.I rang to make another appointment with my doctor, but they were away for a week, and the locum who was in attendance I did not like. No! I would not go and see him. I knew then my chances of getting a termination in time was now extinguished.I was still pregnant to the rapist, and that was not going to change any time soon. The next morning after my shower, I stood naked in my bathroom, looking in the mirror at the small and unwelcome bulge in my lower belly. I also noticed that my breasts were now more perky and had begun to swell. I was going to need new bras. I also knew that I really did not want to be pregnant.The next few days passed in a bit of a blur, then I made another appointment to see my doctor, just to find out what I was going to need to know, as the unwanted pregnancy continued.I began to wear loose-fitting clothing more, as.
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