‘Bill, I promised myself that I wouldn’t pressure you. I know that I gave you a lot to think about tonight. All I ask is that you remember everything we’ve talked about.’ With that final comment, we got up from the bench and started the walk back to the house. I had a feeling that my mind would be busy for a while trying to make sense of everything that I had just heard. I’m no idiot. I had been a supervisor long enough to learn a few truisms about human behavior. I assumed that Anne hadn’t told me everything. Hell, even if she believed every word of it, I had to assume that at some level, the story had been slanted in her favor. Even when you tried to be hard on yourself, it’s natural to assign yourself better motives or justifications. Subconsciously you try to slant things for your benefit. Sometimes the easiest person to fool is the one that stares back at you when you look in the mirror. There was no way she had let me know everything that had gone on. So I wasn’t about to. The whole purpose of a circle jerk, from his perspective, was to re-establish who was the alpha male in the pack. His cock was bigger, longer, faster.The first few times Chuck made me push my pants down and “play” the game, I couldn’t even get hard. I was too embarrassed. Then, when I did get hard, I was embarrassed about that, too. I was afraid the guys would think I was hard for them. They all had fantasies they closed their eyes and thought about. Not me. I was pretty sure no girl would show me her breasts, or pull up her dress to flash me, or make out with me on a date. That was what the older boys did, not the puny runts in the litter, like me.Chuck was as comfortable with his sexuality as it’s possible to be. He was the one who peeked at our parents, in their marital bed. Being a voyeur didn’t bother him at all. He tried to get me to watch with him, saying, “Dad’s got an okay cock. Mom’s pussy is really hairy. They always do it in the missionary position, but it’s still fun to.
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