I could taste the bitter alkaline of the heroin in her blood, but the flavor of her wasted soul was worse. I was flooded with the memories of her childhood, with the visions of her life with my father, and with her joy at my birth. I was washed in the love and laughter that I myself remembered of life with my family. Her despair when my father had died nearly overwhelmed me. As great as my grief for him had been, hers was ten times greater. And Henri. Henri feeding her pills to dull her pain. Pills that he had had her wash down with alcohol, and when the pills were not enough the cigarettes laced with black tar heroin. I could taste the heavy sweetness of the molasses soaked opiate and feel the euphoria, the oblivion. Again Henri, this time spiking a vein for her. I watched the needle pierce her skin and the blossom of red in the syringe before he injected nirvana directly into her blood. She stopped breathing. Her heartbeat, rapid and thready, faltered once, raced, and then. Thanks for letting me be part of your family.” Her closeness was making me extremely uncomfortable. I could smell her aroma, the fresh, clean scent of her hair, her girly perfume. She hung onto my arm. I tried to concentrate on the movie. “Mr. Myers?” “Hmmm,” I said, not daring to take my eyes off the movie. “Christie told me what men do when they get excited. Can I see? Just once.” “Absolutely not, Julie. That wouldn’t be right. You’ll find out when you’re older,” I said, trying to pull away from her. But I was already at the end of the couch, I couldn’t get further away. I felt a sinking sensation in the pit of my stomach, and my face grew very warm. I knew I was blushing furiously. She was holding my arm, her head leaning on my shoulder. I knew she was staring at my dick. My daughter had her legs spread, her vibrator in her pussy. My dick betrayed me; it began to grow. Julie reached out and touch it, the first time she had dared do so. “There, you felt it. Please don’t do that.
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