The gay men of course had no interest in me. The bi men though, many of them were my age and older. Many were married. Many had a non existent sex life at home. Almost all kept what they did quiet and were just as worried about people who knew them finding out. So although it was scary it also felt safe in a weird way.Although with most there was very little, if any, talking, some you got to know, at least a little. Even the ones you didn't talk with you recognized their faces and they recognized yours. You might see them at the mall or a restaurant or a community event and there would be this moment of recognition and nervousness and fear but everyone would pretend and go about their life.I have always been a pretty shy person. I wouldn't say I lacked confidence so much as I didn't feel the need to stand out. I was happy blending into the crowd. At the park though, I felt safe to take risks. Like you would see a guy sitting in the parking lot or walking round and round in circles. I would drive to the town early on a Monday morning and stay in a motel, before returning home after work on Fridays. My boss estimated that I would be following this routine for several months. The motel was clean and fairly modern, and the rooms were rather nice. The huge king-sized bed was extremely comfortable and the room had an adequate bathroom.The motel had a popular bar, which was frequented by the locals in the town. Terry, the barman, told me that the pub was generally quieter Monday to Thursday evenings, but that on Friday and Saturday nights it really pumped.After dinner on my first Thursday evening, I popped into the bar for my nightly beer. Sitting at the counter I observed a man enter. He looked like your typical cowboy. After placing his hat on a stand at the door, he approached the bar.Before ordering his beer he observed me and uttered a friendly, “Howdy.”Terry introduced the cowboy as Abe, and me as Perry. With his beer in hand, Abe sat on the stool next to me. Abe.
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