What we decide based on your testimony will determine whether or not you will be granted parole.’ He paused to withdraw some papers from the file. ‘Ben, according to our records you claimed justifiable homicide at your trial in the deaths of three men in a bar room altercation. Is that still your contention?’ ‘No, sir, Mr. Biglow, sir. It certainly isn’t. I was a young hot head who couldn’t control his temper. I have had many sobering years to reflect on my misdeed and can only express my greatest heartfelt sorrow for what I did. I can only stress that I am no longer that young foolish hot head. I have matured and in my maturity acquired wisdom and patience. As the good book says, ‘A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.’ ‘Well, spoken, Ben. That is what we like to hear.’ ‘Yes, indeed,’ Davenport chimed in, smiling with approval. ‘Now, Ben, do you harbor any resentment toward the justice system or for any representatives of law enforcement. Men like that."I grinned at her reassuring words before I answered, "I don't really careabout what men like."Hillary nodded and said, "You're lucky, you don't have a desire to dealwith them. They are vile creatures, but I enjoy their company from timeto time."I responded, "I count myself fortunate I don't. They're so much worsethan women."Hillary smiled at me because of how I separated myself from the masculinegender in my response and confirmed what I knew she must have thought ofme. I failed to fully realize what I said at first, but Emma overheard itand mentioned it during the car ride.Emma asked, "Do you not consider yourself a man?"I hemmed and hawed as she drove before I answered, "I don't think so."Emma briefly turned her towards me and asked, "Then what do you think youare?"I paused and tried to find the words, but they were not forthcoming. Emmabroke the silence and asked, "Do you think you're a girl?"I responded, "No. I don't think of myself as a woman, but I don't thinkof.
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