‘Why did that lawyer call you?’ ‘Ah, well…’ Tommy said. He wasn’t sure how to explain it. ‘I’ve been taking karate lessons from a man in North Hampden. He died a couple of week ago and…’ He told his aunt the whole story, at least as much of it as he knew. ‘He left you all his money?’ his ashen-faced aunt said when he finished. ‘I guess so,’ Tommy said. ‘It sounds that way.’ ‘Did he have a lot of money?’ Karen asked. ‘My God, Tommy, this is fantastic!’ ‘I don’t know how much money it is,’ Tommy said. ‘The lawyer said it was a substantial amount, though. I guess they don’t say stuff like that unless it’s a lot, huh?’ ‘I’ll come along with you,’ Karen said. ‘I want to be sure I understand all this so we can tell your parents.’ ‘Jesus!’ Tommy exclaimed, ‘Mom and Dad! They’re going to bust a gut when they find out!’ ‘They’ll be pleased,’ Karen said, ‘after all, this takes care of your college tuition, doesn’t it?’ ‘I guess it does,’ Tommy admitted. Actually, it sounded like he might have. At the consultation with the specialist before the infusion, he was caring, but frank.“There’s still hope, Johanna, but it’s fading. We’re running out of treatment options. I always hate when I have to tell patients this, but you should begin making plans for the end. Talk to your lawyers, get your will in order, that sort of thing.”I had the infusion, and went home. The following week, the pain was so intense that I could barely hold on to my consciousness. I called Burton, asked for leave from work, and began taking the opioids. * The hours pass slowly now, dribbling by as I sit in my chair by the window. The pain is constant, and I look at the time every few minutes. I try to postpone taking the next opioid pill. I want to hold on to my lucidity for as long as possible, as the price of relief is to float away into a semi-conscious haze where I lose touch with my sense of self.In contrast to the hours, the days march by in fast forward, spurred by their dreary sameness. It seems.
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