I have lost again and look away with eyes full of remorse and hurt and that glint of fear. Fear of the pain? No…more accurately described as fear of failure. What kind of mother will I be? Hands explore a surface so hard and round and promising, feeling that pulse of life within, wishing I could look like this forever and have someone to whisper to. And then the pain came, and I wonder why I was not in fear of it. Pain like a river, a waterfall, an earthquake…pain like a volcanic eruption that makes me scream and scream and scream. So much pain to deliver a life so small. Giving birth was perhaps the most painful and colorful moment of my life, the ripping of a soul that I’m not even sure exists. It tore from me like the wing of bird, disabling my flight through the azure dawn of existence. I felt that when I was crying my tears were made of glass because they hurt as they came out razor edges carving bloody scars down my cheeks dropping like bullets onto my heaving chest, dividing. =-="Good set." Talent." You're going to win." I donno, that guy, he's great, and you know how those westcoast dancers are." Well, I think you will. By the by, I know what youwanted." Seeing as how I'm still a lil woozy, go ahead." Your girlfriend. You never really loved having the girlthere. You wanted something silently." What?" To be her." Mmm... jees that's on target." The pretty clothes, the trendy look, even the longstraight black hair. You were looking for your little fixof that through her. The thing you did, to cause her to getso angry? You wanted her to stop her from getting her hair cut off." Ya... I think that could been it." It was." So what does your information, which I'm not sure whereyou got it, do for me?" Don't worry."=-= Ay, iyaiyai, Ay, iyaiyai A-a-a iyaiyai, Where's my samurai I've been searching for a man All across Japan Just to find, to find my samurai Someone who is strong But still a little shy Yes I need, I need my samurai Ay, ay, ay, I'm your little.
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