Lifting your tray you rise, making a beeline for the table where she laughs with her friend. Your resolve is stronger than it's ever been before, you're certain that yes, this time you'll ask her. Her conversation grows louder as you approach, but for once her lovely voice spurs you on instead of scaring you off."So what did you get up to last night?" her friend asks, eyes twinkling knowingly."Oh, just a bar," she replies, lowering her voice slightly before continuing. "Although, I did meet someone there, and we... well."Her eyes lock onto you as she looks around embarrassed, avoiding her friends adulatory expression and eager response, but she doesn't notice anything amiss as you pivot smoothly to scrape your leftover food into the bin. She looks back to her friend, bashfully accepting the praise directed at her healthy sex life as you slink away, out of the canteen and back to your desk.Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.Your brain spits out the word once every second as you berate yourself.. I set my eyes on the nightclubs although this wasn’t at all ideal, my mom had told me as a teen never to go clubbing on my own as I would be the prime target for the weirdo’s of the world. I chose the easier alternatives of pubs and taverns, as these places are far easier for the staff to keep an eye on everyone. I thought this idea would be a bit lame because all the younger meat would be out partying and having a good time clubbing, I was right, the only men I saw in the pub were guys twice my age. Just to save myself from looking awkward I bought myself a drink and sat down as far away from anyone as possible. I finished the drink in a world breaking speed and left, on the way home picking up a cheap bottle of wine to have by myself. When I returned home, I crossed pubs and taverns off the list, these places were fun when you were having a quiet social drink with family and friends. There was only one other option, hit the clubs alone, or the easiest option buy a toy, which I.
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