“This has been an incredibly troubling period for me. For both of us, though nowhere near as difficult as for Martha and Adrian. But, I can tell you with a clear conscience that Mike had no part in what happened to them. He was with me at the time. When the news was first reported, I feared he’d slipped out while I wasn’t aware, but it’s evident he didn’t. I’m a light sleeper, and even if we weren’t touching, if he stood, I’d have awakened. What’s more, what I’ve learned of the investigation makes it obvious there were many other people involved in this. The murders were carefully orchestrated well in advance, with actors put into motion ahead of time. This was no crime of passion.”She glanced back, breaking into a relaxed smile, proving she was either comfortable with what occurred or a tremendous actress. “Mike and I are ... managing. We’re still taking everything a day at a time, but we’re discussing the issues in our lives rather than holding everything in. I think that’s good,. Was this some sort of declaration of love, I thought as I held her close and felt her breasts flatten against my chest. The scent of her body made me dizzy; I inhaled deeply. I wanted to take away all of her saness and make her smile. We lay in bed together. I starting stroking her face, tracing lines with the tip of my finger. I grew bolder and let my finger stray down to the long slender throar. Mom lay here passively, her sad pale blue eyes gazing up at me. Her pajama top was open, breasts partially exposed and gently rising and falling with each breath. This was a silent confirmation of what I had suspected all along. Her feelings transended "normal" motherly feelings, they were deeper and darker. I could not absolve myself of having similar feelings. We seemed to belong together. I traced patterns connecting the small constellation of freckles on her chest. She giggled softly. Her fingers opened several more buyyons of her top and pulled it aside so that one breast was now.
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