Everyone is on her payroll; she answers to no one. She feels safe that way, albeit probably at an unconscious level." Then suddenly there you were, asking her to give up part of her touring schedule and marry you. Translation: give up a big part of her professional identity and personal gratification, and put her future happiness in your hands. This is an incredibly big step for her. She set up the concert thinking you would feel the very positive experience that she has on the stage. She didn't realize that your own fears and jealousies would make it a nightmare experience for you. As you both failed to communicate, you got angry and frustrated but you couldn't talk about your feelings and emotions. You were feeling resentful, hurt and confused by her reluctance to commit to your relationship. She was afraid of letting go and angry at feeling pressured. There in a nutshell is the so called 'big problem.'" That's it?" asked Darryl, "You really think that's what broke us up and sent. She didn't hurt me. And when we steppedout, together, from the still-steaming bathroom, for just an instant,standing there, heat still rising from my no-hairless body, I felt thesmallest drafts, the motes of dust brushing my shoulders; I closed my eyesand felt a fall of something more, a trembling of hair. Eyes still closed,I raised my hands and ran my fingers through the waves, as she gentledbrushed the tangles from the wig.I felt her bring a bra across my chest, the little tug as she closed itbehind me and clasped the hooks. I felt tight elastic grab my hips andbelly. I felt her kneel."Pick up your feet," she said, and rolled the nylon over my ankle and upmy calves, it slid along my smooth, new-shaven thigh. I shivered as theslick gauze tightened to my skin."You need to look now," she said. "Take this." A half-slip. I stepped in:One foot, two foot. A picture from a magazine for horny boys, band of lacehalfway down a thigh, my thigh."You're looking, now," she whispered. "Are you.
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