I turn around so my fat ass is facing the mirror and think to myself “It could get a little bigger for Master, better double the work out today.” I turn on the shower, as I walk to the toilet, finish my morning duties, and slip my slippers off before hoping into the shower. I hum a couple of Disney songs as I wash my long wavy red hair. I spend at least a fifteen minutes in the shower, shaving, washing, and making myself squeaky clean for my wonderful Masters.Skipping out of the shower, I dry my have with a towel and start applying my make up. Master made sure to show me exactly how he likes his bimbos to look, and I make sure I do my make up perfectly every morning. I have thick long eyelashes, a perfect flip at the end of my eye liner, and just the exact amount of eye shadow to make the most slight smokey eye. I continue to add just the tinniest bit of blush (knowing in a second I was about to get very flustered), and finish with some hot pink lip stick. After my make up is. Now she cooks great. We both are different people today. Our old selves would never have found our personal savior. Both mom and I know that.You don't think I am mature enough to love anyone yet. But that is not my problem. That is yours. You don't know how to love. You can't see that someone outside of your own head can be that important to you. Jake calls that the Western Civilized Mind disease. I know how to love. I know how to give myself completely. I have learned that in doing that with the right person I can and do grow wings to fly over things I never could have before. I also know that those wings do not belong to me. They are for me, but they only exist because I love unconditionally. I know the love must be real, not fake, or someday I will fall out of the sky. God can take away everything he gives and I have no control over that. All I can do is be faithful in my love and pray that God sees that.I know that I love Howard. I don't love the 'idea of Howard', I love the real.
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