The boy would probably be taking me to one of Helmut Schwartzman’s hidden shops and selling me back product I’d had smuggled into the country myself.“Ah, something German, special to the holidays and the Christmas markets but not ... touristy?”“Yes, that would be what I needed.”“I know just the thing. We have a cookie called Hausfreunde, almond-apricot sandwich cookies dipped in bittersweet chocolate, made specially for Christmas and sold in the Christmas markets. I bet your host’s family would love those. They are favorites of mine. They are expensive. But if you want to Beeindrucken—what you say, impress, your host’s family...”“And you could show me where to buy these cookies in the Christmas market?”“Sicher, ja—Certainly, yes. And then after we go to the Christmas markets, if you like, we could go back to your hotel and you could fuck me.”I was taking a drink of my beer when he said that and gagged a bit on it. He laughed. I wondered if he’d waited until I was drinking to drop. When I woke up the next day, a Sunday, the events of the previous night seemed little more than a dream to me. I was part indignant at having been taken advantage of in those circumstances, and part glowing inside at having tasted forbidden fruit in the flesh for the first time. Countless times in the past I had fantasised about being used, being held down and just fucked liked a bitch, and believe it or not this was the only time in my life that anything like it had ever happened to me in the flesh. I could get angry about it but then remembered how my body had betrayed my true feelings by responding to the attention I was getting. Maybe also I was more susceptible and responsive due to the fact that normal sex in my case was fast becoming a distant memory. By the end of that day I had resolved to put the whole thing down to experience and never tread that sort of path again if I could avoid it. I had an uneasy feeling that the owner of the restaurant was aware of what.
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