She sighed and felt the cold draft of the closet airplay on her, giving her a chill. ‘I’ll never make it as a writer,’ she thought. Her mind washed itself in waves of cold cruel doubt, and she felt very small. By living at Marilyn’s, even for these few days, she still put herself in someone else’s house. She wasn’t on her own, she had no independence. Was that entirely true though? Marilyn had asked her to stay. This was all very confusing, and layers of conflict, layers of doubt, and shame started to mount in her mind. There was no way that she felt the same blissful feeling that she did before, and yet, when she thought about being strung up, when she thought about a spanking, the shame faded. ‘What was the deal,’ she wondered. What was it about this bondage that was so powerful? Where was it written that someone could take away all of her personal shame, all of her discouraging feelings in one easy whap. Is this what Marilyn could do to her? She rubbed at her eyes for a moment,. She paced the house thinking if that if she stayed inside and didn't see anybody that maybe she wouldn't be tempted to fuck anyone. She took a long ice cold shower to drive home the point, but as she scrubbed every crevice and pore of her body, the memories of Spike's cock renewed her desire to fuck again. She smiled as she remembered fucking him through the night hours until she quite literally wore him out... and every time she needed him 'hard' again, she went down on him for another round.As she began masturbating to the images of Spike, she also reflected on the two high school girls again and wondered if she'd been depriving herself of some exciting lesbian sex... The blonde still aroused the fuck out of her and she was tempted to look her up. Now, she masturbated to the image of Spike ramming into her as she ate out the blonde!Much later, she crawled out of the shower, realizing now that she had cum she could rationalize a bit more. Something wasn't right and she concluded that.
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