I composed myself, best as I could, and asked, 'Did you tell him everything we did?' giving Jim a knowing look.'Oh, yes', Bertie said, 'would you do the same for me?'I was in a state of shock. Instead of popping into my local for a few pints of beer, I found myself being sexually blackmailed by two horny pensioners who, I was quickly realising, were going to require a few favours to buy their silence!'Do you want me to dress up for you?' I sheepishly, and rather quietly, enquired.Jim interjected and said, 'How's about you come round to Bertie's bungalow at about 5 this afternoon? Bring your gear in a bag with you. You can dress when you get there!'I quickly gulped down my lager, went to the bar, ordered a whiskey chaser, necked it down straight away, and left the premises in a state of utter disbelief.The afternoon flew by, and, with a sense of dread, I stood at a pensioner's bungalow with a carrier bag filled with lingerie and stilettoes, waiting to be asked to perform God knows what. I shook the fog out of my head and called Bea over, "give the lovely lady what she wants" and Bea, without asking the woman anything, pulls a draft and sets it in front of her. Then Bea says, "Mary, this is Mike. Mike, say hello to Mary" and then she heads down to the other end of the bar. Mary took a sip of her brew and then said to me, "My mother tells me that you won't take no for an answer so she asked me to see if I could maybe take your attention off her."Could you ever, I said to myself, but not believing for one minute that I had a chance of connecting with this gorgeous woman. Well, one thing led to another, and seven months later I asked her to marry me and she said yes.The relationship between me and Bea shifted slightly; I still sat at the bar and admired her ass, but the conversation changed to ribald kidding - "You still got a chance Bea, I'm not married yet" or "Last chance to say yes before I say I do."And then, one night before my bachelor party, I was sitting at the.
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