She was still in thebedroom checking her email when the doorbell rang. ?Get that, hon.? sheshouted from the other room. My heart skipped a beat and my stomachdropped as even the thought of someone seeing me wearing nail polishcrossed my mind. ?Are you crazy!? I nearly-silently shouted from thedoorway. ?Oh, sorry, dear? she apologized realizing my potentialembarrassment with a smile.Jess started to kid me during dinner about how sexy my hands looked. Ican?t say I didn?t enjoy it. They are pretty, I confessed. We touchedphilosophically on the cultural taboo of men wearing nail polish,especially bright colors. But watching her hands and then alternatelymine as we used the chop sticks to scoop the noodles out of thecardboard squares gave me a continual rush. Whenever Jess got up forsomething, I took the opportunity glance down at my own marvelously-colored toenails. Near the end of dinner I realized I was getting blueballs as I?d been hard pretty-much since I?d walked in Jess? door. "Why is it every guy I know is like this? My daddy either can't or won't learn to wrap properly, and I'll be darned if I let you go along in life without being able to master this simple task."The next half-hour was spent with me trying to take instruction on this very important task from my best friend. I would do well on some of the packages, and on others I would fail miserably, causing the "Professor" to "tsk, tsk" me into starting over, carefully lining up the edges, taping things nice and tight and trying not to skimp on quality.After that harrowing experience, I resolved never to let this wild woman into my house again. Like that was gonna work. There was a method to her madness. Madness, I tell you."Now Tom, since you have completed your wrapping tasks and have learned your lessons well, I will give you the chance to pay me back for all of the difficult instruction that I have given you this day."Pay her back? I would love to pay her back. How can I count the ways? To start I.
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