It was hard to get back to what I now knew was a boring humdrum life. Laura had made all the other women I knew seem like pale shadows of the real thing and I lost interest in any ongoing social interactions. I tended to stay at the ranch and bury myself in work. I was lucky I didn't have to pay alimony to Dixie and we'd never had children so I was gradually able to make improvements and put the ranch on a sounder financial footing. But... well, I wasn't kidding myself. Every day I lived in various shades of gray.I think I faced up to it okay — anyway I did my best. But there was this hollow place in me that nothing seemed able to fill. I'd still go to The Stampede once a month or so, more out of loneliness than anything else I guess. I maybe had this subliminal thought - buried so deep I didn't even want to voice it — that one day I'd see that longhaired beauty again. Oh, I danced once in a while with one or another girl, but I never went home with any of them again.About three. And a few dresses, too. Some nice sensible flat heels, as well. We can put off putting high heels on you for a little while, until you get more accustomed to skirts and dresses." Is that all?" Oh, no!" Ellen said brightly. "You'll need some jewelry...oh, and some make-up." Make-up?" Of course," she replied. "You can't go out without make-up. Of course, I can help you out with that for a while, but you'll need to learn how to apply it yourself, soon." Darling," Christopher pleaded, "I don't want to do this. I'm scared. What will people think? I just cant go out in public in a dress." They'll think you're an attractive girl," she replied, putting perhaps a bit too much emphasis on the word "girl". "You're actually very fortunate; you can pass as female a whole lot easier than some other DCD patients, so count your blessings." Christopher harrumphed. "Now, before I get home, I want you to do something for me, darling," Ellen said. He swallowed. "I want you to take a shower. And in the.
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