I don't know what the other rows had on display. I noticed that a large section of the store was devoted to pornographic movies. The back wall was covered with a huge selection of sex toys.I also managed to form an opinion of the other customers in the store. There were five men in the store when we came in and in the time I had been standing inside the door two more had come in. There were more cars out front than men in the store but I didn't give that much thought.The men seemed a little uncomfortable. But then, so was I. They were all looking at me with looks that you wouldn't expect from men that you met in any other place of business. Some were staring openly. Some were being a little more discreet. But they were all watching me with looks of blatant and unbridled lust as I stood there nearly naked, just inside the door. I tried to ignore the other customers as I looked around.Jon and Laura had left me standing there and were talking with the man behind the counter. I doubt if. Oh, to have an unbreakable union with someone of the opposite sex such as an understanding of each other from the soul. A genuine exchange of selves. Not of bodies, but of actual selves at a spiritual level. I think that is what bothered me in that sparse restaurant that night. I was sitting across from a boy who had always been that boy for his whole life, with no experience of "her," that is my, body. This was a world of Karen and Jamie as the cutest couple in the school. It wasn't my dream. I think it may be better in some ways, but wasn't my expectation. I had to tell Jamie that we couldn't last. We were probably the ideal couple, but I needed time to adjust. Once I truly accepted this new life and felt the realness that it was most likely permanent, then maybe I could go back to him, but so many things had to be understood before that could be the case. Only the future will tell. I have adjusted fairly well in the last few months to this switch. I'm cute when I dress.
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