There is no reason for you to sulk about this," she called after me."OK, if it's so damned important to you, you can have me," she said, the anger in her voice telling me volumes about what to expect.I turned back to her, and more calmly than I could even believe, replied,"No thanks, I don't need some sort of 'mercy fuck' where you lay there like a piece of dead meat. That's how you were six months ago, and it wasn't even worth the effort."I continued down the hall, and heard the door slam behind me.In the guest room, I turned on the light and sat in the overstuffed chair and considered my situation.As you may have gleaned from my narrative, my marriage was on the rocks. It wasn't that I didn't love my wife, I did, and I had never cheated on her. I didn't actually believe that she had ever cheated on me, either.In almost every way, Amanda was a perfect wife.She kept an immaculate house. She was a wonderful cook, and an absolutely outstanding mother to our children. She had a sense of. " I didn't realize it was so big!" she observed, staring unabashedly now.I shrugged. "Some are bigger, some are smaller." I'd been doing some research on the Internet. "I guess I'm about average, from what I've found out." What does it feel like?" You can touch it, if you want," I offered."NO! I mean, what does it feel like to - have that thing hanging down there?"I looked down. "It's not exactly hanging, right now," I pointed out."Uh - no, but I mean, when you're standing up."I pondered this. "I don't know. It's just sort of there. How aware of you of, say, your nose? Anyway, it's not usually hard, you know." You're excited," she pointed out. "By me." Don't flatter yourself, squirt," I said teasingly. "At my age, I can get a hardon for no reason at all. It can be really embarrassing when it happens in class. Or, at least it used to be embarrassing," I corrected. "Now I just ask for relief." Relief?"So I explained how having a hardon for a long time can start to hurt. "So I can.
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