I have seen the best and worst sulks and tantrums echo from your being, met with both my hidden smile and anger. But to any other man who walks this earth you are mellow in your emotions, ever calm, ever stable. You do your best but I see the shadow shows, the man holding onto the only way he knows to row through his fears and sadness. Your formality in your high soft voice breaks my heart on hearing you. I cannot fight your battles or draw a sword on your behalf, but my arms are open, outstretched, always, and I will be the walls to the storm and keep you safe and strong. You are, behind your fifty years, still a child searching for answers in a sea of books and being. I don’t mind. That’s the wrong phrase. I don’t mind because I love it, all of you, cantankerous, out of touch, snobbish and cold, because I know it is you behind your long hours and cruel bosses, it is you who will kiss me and hold me with the sweetness and love no one has ever come close to. It is you who will sit. Don't show the knives to anyone unless you absolutely have to. And don't play with them, they are not toys. I am putting your own life in your own hands, Alexandra. You are only nine and I shouldn't have to do this, but Christmas and the airport have shown me that for whatever reason, you need to know how to take care of yourself in the face of anything. I am trusting you to see how serious this is. Please don't make me regret it," he said, his hands on my shoulders and his blue eyes gazing steadily into mine.I nodded my head and placed my hands on his cheeks. "I promise to be good, daddy. You won't be sorry," I said in a tone far older than my age, trying to put my whole heart and soul into my gaze. Then I noticed something on the harness that was dangling from the sheaths. "What are those for, daddy?" He smiled and showed me how to slip my belt through the loops to stabilize the harness.Daddy took me to the airport early the next morning. Dulles, this time. He saw me all the way to.
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