Nothing good lay down this path. And yet to give her up… She was so beautiful. Uncomplicated–that was the right word for it. Not innocence, with all the idiocy that implied, but a childlike simplicity of heart and mind, so rare in this world of post-terrorist cynicism. She was not stupid, she knew that there was pain in the world. But she remained open to the possibility of hope. How could he give up such a precious jewel? He could see it all so clearly: life, the universe, everything. With him there would be no fear, no worries, she could live her life secure in the knowledge that he loved her, would never hurt her, would do anything for her. She could pursue her degree, have a career, raise children in peace. She would know–from the first, from the beginning–that this was right for her. That he was right for her, and she for him. They would twine, naked, in the light of the moon, with no open windows to betray them. He would kiss her, tasting those lips he had dreamed about day. Remember what Suki told youfive months ago in Hayden Hall?You're about to embark on a unique journey of discovery. If it turns outto be a one-way trip I suspect that what you'll gain will far outweighanything you lose.Maybe that's true. There has to be more I can get out of being a womanthan periods, mood swings and blokes staring at my tits.Stifling a yawn, I roll over and groan at the cacophony coming from insidemy head. The covers have slid down my hips, but since I can't find theenergy to reach out and pull them over me I lie there counting mygoosepimples until my bladder calls a halt to this narcissistic indolence.Unfortunately I obey its commands a little too promptly, and as the roomgyrates about me I make a solemn vow never to touch anything stronger thanshandy if I live to see Screaming Lord Sutch win a seat in the House ofCommons.When I emerge from the shower an unedifying and decidedly wobbly fifteenminutes later, my headache has eased to a dull throbbing I can just.
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