Besides being an early riser by nature I wanted to be out of the hotel without meeting anyone I knew. By nine thirty I was home and to try and keep my mind away from Hannah made a start on the mundane weekend jobs that we all have. By lunchtime most of the self-pity had gone but the anger I had at myself was still there; that I had allowed myself to fall in love with Hannah caused the anger; that that love was lost caused the pain.I was feeling predictably low when Tina, my eldest daughter, called around to see me as she did most weekends. Tina knows me better than anyone else and even though I tried to pretend otherwise she saw almost immediately that something was upsetting me. As we spoke most days she was aware of my date with Hannah and probably had an idea of my feelings for her, so explaining was easy, if somewhat painful, and embarrassing to admit such a stupid mistake to one of my children.Tina was not in the slightest bit sympathetic, which actually surprised me. She told. I wasn’t expecting that,’ I admitted. ‘I wasn’t either,’ Alicia replied. ‘That was an interesting chess move.’ ‘Well,’ I said slowly, carefully choosing my words, ‘It is pretty obvious your dad loves you, Alicia. You’re lucky to have a family that loves you so much.’ ‘Yes,’ she answered thoughtfully. ‘Too much sometimes. I mean, I appreciate what he is trying to do, but I’ve been talking to my therapist Margaret about this. It’s really time for me to grow up and quit taking from them anyway. I know this is going to be really hard on them, but I can’t go back and live under their wings. That’s one of the reasons I want to stay, so I can show them they don’t have to worry about me, but it’s going to take a long time to win that trust. I couldn’t do it with them hovering over me, stealing door knobs, making me get on the scale and all that stuff. Besides… I love New York. I love you.’ I put my arm around her and said, ‘I love you too, Alicia. And I can’t see myself being any good at.
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