“What the fuck?” Jess shrieked, her eyes darting back and forth between the woman and the door. The woman had her hands out, like she was trying to calm and quiet her, her eyes equally as panicked as Jess’s.“I didn’t mean to frighten you, but I don’t have much time now that you’ve opened the box… Please Jessica…”“Who are you?! How did you… you just appeared!” Jess stammered. She felt dizzy, her voice trembling as her eyes met those of the barely-dressed woman staring back at her. The silks… the gold… she looked exotically dressed and under-dressed at the same time – her golden hair shimmering in the low light of the room.“There’s no easy way for me to say this but, I’m your mother Jessica…”The blonde cheerleader felt her heart skip a beat. Her immediate reaction was to shake her head in denial but she couldn’t help glance at the woman’s hair… her eyes… her skin… it was all too familiar…“Mom? No… No, there’s no… there’s no way! My Mom left when I was a baby!” Jessica insisted, pointing. But at the same time, I was scared to death that I meetsomeone I know. And worse, being recognized and laughed at. I wastorn. And even though I tried to tell me otherwise, I knew that I haveto transition. That it was my only option to get out of that miserableemotional state.I traveled. Every year. Sometimes several times. It helped me to getmy mind away from being trans. Looking forward to going somewhere elseand especially being somewhere else was making me happy. While away Iwasn't feeling sad all the time. I enjoyed life then. For real. Itwasn't just a lie I tried to tell myself.In 2012 I made a decision. Knowing that I have to transition but notfeeling able to do it at home. Why not somewhere else? Germany is big.The world is even bigger I talked to my superior and she promised tohelp me find something somewhere else. Without telling the realreason.In early 2013 the opportunity knocked on the door. I flew to Viennafor an interview. And accomplished that mission. I started on.
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