"And I think she wants to make sure that I always know that. I do tend to kind of get a little full of myself in the spring. My sister calls this the golden arm."I held the arm out as if it was an object worthy of everyone's reverence, and Tanya whacked the other one. The tension was broken. Tanya's mother got up to finish getting the dinner ready and her father excused himself, too. My best girl and I were left sitting alone on the couch."So this is the Seder?" I asked after a pause. "The meal that follows a Jewish family counseling session?" I'm sorry," she whispered. "I just didn't think they'd understand." Why you like somebody who likes sports?" I asked softly.She nodded."Cause all of your earlier boyfriends have been, like, chess guys?"She nodded again."Maybe they don't care, you know. Maybe they just like the people you like. Maybe they trust you." And you're saying that I should trust them?" Hashem forbid I should get into the middle of this," I said. Tanya whacked me again. .Big Momma is asleep, splayed in the bed on her back in a yellow print nightgown that is cotton, but so old it might as well be see-thru. She takes up the whole bed. She's wearing one of those mask things that help with your breathing. It makes a lot of noise, which is probably a good thing.She won't have seen her twat in a while – her belly hangs over it like a shield. I can see it when I squat at the foot of the bed – her legs are spread, showing those brown marks fat women get. It's hairy like a motherfucker – Big Momma doesn't shave. Shit, she probably CAN'T! I bet she sits everywhere with her legs gaping open, trying to get air to that motherfucker – I would.I trip over something on the way out. I reach down and pick it up – it's a dildo! A BIG motherfucker! She must have dropped it when she fell asleep after HER eleven o'clock show! I wonder how I could see THAT – I don't have any angle on her room. Sighing, I kiss off the whole thing – it's not what I'm there for. I'm here for.
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