I've also suffered a loss in the family recently and this has caused me a lot of heartache. My Aunt Natalie, who was only 44 years old, died quite suddenly in late September, and it hit me rather hard. She was always fun to be with, and seemed full of life. I'd been close to her for many years. It was she who had encouraged me to take up nursing when I left school, and it was she who had helped to support my studies at nursing college.I really don't know whether it was this loss that started me having sex without any strings - without any feeling of commitment or needing commitment, or without any sense that this might be the man who might be my future husband, but it was just after the funeral on September 30th that I guess I could say I had my first casual encounter with a man. I went back to Aunt Natalie's house straight after the funeral and got talking to a friend of my Aunt's. I guess he was about 50. He'd been a co-worker at the office where she worked, and I suspected that. "Maria barely came up to the middle of my chest but she was a perfectly proportioned woman -- waist, hips, tits. Lustrous long black hair. She said, "Brian, I want you to fuck me."My dick started to get harder. "Why me?" Because I've always been afraid that a guy would hurt me. All the guys in The Program with small pricks have been too young and too embarrassed to know what they were doing and all the other guys seemed like they'd just jam it in."Sally said, "We figured you'd let her go at her own speed. We'll use lots of lube."Maria said, "I've been using vibrators to get used to it and I've worked my way up to an average penis size." She put both hands on my dick. "Yours isn't too much bigger."I shook my head. "Your first time should be in a candle lit room on a bed strewn with rose petals. I'm not sure I want to do this."She put a hand on my arm. "Oh, please, Brian. I'll never get put in The Program and all the guys I know, and all the guys my family knows, would be real assholes.
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