But the earthling specimen did not cease his passionate questions.“Orifice probes,” the extraterrestrial guard hissed at last betwixt clenched teeth. “I do not agree with all of it but I am only a lowly guard. Regulations strictly prohibit me from discoursing with you. But no specimen is ever harmed. Not irreparably.”As though never hearing of a regulation that prohibited guards from speaking to specimens, this Extraterrestrial Guard added, “I swear, of all the planets I have traveled and of all the inhabitants I have encountered, you of the earth, you earthlings, really are the most… the most… no other sentient beings complicate things more than you earthlings.”“Orifice probes? What… what do you mean…?”For the millionth time over four or five light-years, this extraterrestrial guard wished that to save the trouble of a long explanation, he could produce a recording from that fateful meeting when the commanders laid down the truest purposeful meaning of why all extraterrestrials. It read, "You want power? Here it is." Opening the box revealed what looked like a television remote with all blank buttons.She took the remote out of the box and began to inspect it. After a moment, words appeared on the buttons, shocking Heather. Or maybe they were always there? Reading the buttons didn't reveal much about this remote's intended use."STAND" | "SIT" | "KNEEL" STOP" | "FASTER" | "SLOWER" CLOSE MOUTH" | "OPEN MOUTH" | "STICK OUT TONGE"She paused once she reached the "MASTURBATE" button. "Wait, what? What is this remo-" her own thoughts were cut off as she read the next few buttons"MASTURBATE" | "ORGASM" | "NIPPLE PLAY" GIVE ORAL" | "FONDLE" | "HAVE SEX"Heather was baffled at what this remote was or how it came to be in her room. She held it up in the air and pushed some buttons. A small light blinked at the top with each press, but nothing happened. She paused for a moment. "What if..." she pointed the remote at herself and pushed the "KNEEL" button. As soon as the.
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