I think I would have been able to understand and handle it better had he turned argumentative, or irritable, or even vicious and violent. The coin of strong emotions has two sides, after all, and one expects a great love to breed great antagonisms as a sort of natural fallout. Instead, Paul simply withdrew. He grew morose and uncommunicative, and took to spending long periods away from our apartment. Although it was difficult for me to see him physically disappear in this way, it was even more tormenting to have him present in the house in body only, while the essence of him, the beautiful spirit that I loved so desperately, had obviously moved out. I did not confront him at first, hoping as I did that his withdrawal was only a matter of some stray mood, or some necessary passage of the artist through the shadow of his own internal moon. At the time I had no other way to explain it, this mysterious and almost total absence, and I was not yet willing to admit that what I was seeing. A hot stripper could make several hundred dollars in one night doing lap dances after each show, but maybe the stripper was just taking a break.Jesse gouged his arm with his elbow.“Hey! Hey!” Jesse said, excitedly. “That’s her! The girl with the knife act!”The loudspeaker blared, announcing the ‘beautiful, exotic Béla’.‘What an unusual name, ‘ Henry thought.He watched her step up on the stage and told Jesse, “She looks pretty ordinary to me.”“Just shut up and watch, man!” Jesse said, “She’s incredible!”Henry shut up and watched the show. The girl didn’t seem to have much of a figure; no tits, skinny ass. She was wearing a camouflage top and metallic mini-skirt that wasn’t much more than a belt around her hips. The top fastened between her breasts with a knot in front and a G-string barely covered her crotch. She wasn’t wearing any jewelry, but strapped to her right leg was a camouflage leather knife holster. She was standing in thigh-high, skin-tight high-heeled black vinyl boots,.
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