Any of this, exciting. I should be furious. I should run across the street and put a bullet through that little bastard’s forehead.“I’m extremely embarrassed that some of the things I’ve seen and heard about have turned me on. And I know how much wearing those clothes embarrasses you. But damn! You look so fucking hot! I’m sorry, Brooke. But no matter what else I am, no matter how modern I try to be, deep down inside I’m still a typical horny male. I’m not able to look at you in those clothes and not react at a visceral level that I cannot control.“I wish that I could. I’m upset with myself for reacting the way I do. But...”He sighed loudly and said, “I’m sorry. I think you look so fucking hot.”I checked the time and said, “I wasn’t kidding, Doug. I’m not just saying it to make you feel better, either. I prefer that you have that reaction. If you think I’m exciting then maybe our marriage still has a chance to survive.”And then, to prove that I meant it, I sank to my knees in front. Then I asked the most lame guy question. “Are you sure?”She sighed condescendingly. “Oh, I’m sure. One kit, and then Sally drove me to Planned Parenthood, and they confirmed it.”“Well, then it sounds pretty sure,” I told her. I was quiet again. “So, what do you want to do? I mean, are you going to keep it -”“Oh, I’m going to keep it,” she said emphatically. Then, in a softer voice, “I guess God just wanted to make sure we stayed together.”“Maybe,” I replied. Ordinarily I’m against abortion, but I was quickly learning I could make an exception. “Ah - dang, I got to go, I have to get off this exit, and don’t want to crash. I’ll call you later, all right?”“Are you OK?” she asked me, a touch of sarcasm in her voice.“Sure - just need to think.”We hung up. And I had to think. Oh, boy do I have to think.And so I thought. I told my wife I was just distracted by something at work. I went out on a drive. I sat in an empty parking lot, looking up at the stars, wanting to beg God to make it not.
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