While many will not experience these steps in a linear course, the following steps capture essential components of the coming out process. These steps are not necessarily mutually exclusive and can be experienced simultaneously. For example other theorists have said that it is not uncommon for people go back and forth in their sexual identity development.Step One: Identity Confusion.“Who am I?” is the major question in this step. People in this stage of the coming out process start to notice their attraction to same-sex people and really question what it means. Am I gay? Am I a lesbian? Am I transgendered? Am I bisexual? Within this stage there may be a denial of inner feelings as a person continues to see themselves as a member of the mainstream, heterosexual population. Some may consider their behaviors as ‘just experimenting’. Some people in this stage might keep emotional involvement separate from their sexual activity; others may choose to have deeply emotional relationships. I cited the ring ceremony at the restaurant when KC and Brita joined our circle of love, and Margo was included, and then the special night we shared after that.After some more conversation and drinks after our great dinner, Tom collected Cindy and Sheila and headed off to the guest room for the night. The two girls looked very happy to go with the vibrant man.I had my other four ‘wives’ and we had a smooth time slipping into showers and bed. Yes, I made love with all of them, had sex with two as the other two made love, and then we slept.The next morning, Tom, Sheila, Melanie, Brita, and I were in the office by seven o’clock. I’d set up a couple of meetings for Tom, and he went off for those. I tasked Melanie with sorting our notes from our brainstorming sessions in Mexico into various types of action item lists. I didn’t have to explain much; she was one very smart cookie.Sheila went off to tend to a week’s worth of accumulated mail, email, and action items coming to my office that.
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