“These are the addresses where you’ll find your siblings. You’re one of my two sons. The rest are daughters.” I take the paper and look down at the five addresses and the names written next to them. They’re the names of the mothers and my siblings names. He gives me a run down of who the siblings are and how he knew the mother. He lays back in his bed.“I don’t have a lot of time left junior. I just didn’t want to leave you with questions.” He closes his eyes and waves me out the door. I leave and head home for the night. The next day I head into work, remote in my pocket. I get a couple of weird looks as I go through the metal detector when I pull the remote out, but no one says anything. That day my productivity and quality are through the roof. I get more done in an hour that our fastest people would do in two. Everyone pats me on the back and jokingly asks for my help, asking what I’m on. I laugh it off and squeeze the remote lightly in my pocket, but not everyone is pleased. That helps. Even better, hover behind me and advise me at every keystroke.3. Always leave without telling anyone where you’re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.4. If you give me more than one job to do, don’t tell me which is priority. I’m psychic.5. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.6. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.7. If you don’t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.8. If you have special instructions for a job, don’t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.9. Never introduce me to the people you’re with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.10. Be nice.
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