"I'm sorry, I just couldn't help myself. I really needed that. Thank you."And then she was asleep.The next morning when I finally woke up, she was gone. Glancing over at the clock I realized why; it was nearly ten o'clock and she was downstairs in the shop. I could still feel the wet spots left during the previous night, so I stripped the bed and, after getting dressed, walked to the kitchen on my way down to the laundry in the basement. On the table sat a plate. On the plate rested a note and a single chocolate kiss."Thank you again for last night; love, me. Make yourself some breakfast and see me in the shop."I made myself some scrambled eggs and a cup of coffee, then headed downstairs with the sheets. When I had the load running, I climbed the stairs and entered the shop. I was greeted with an ovation by the girls and a kiss from my wife."See, I told you I didn't kill him."That got a roar of laughter from the girls. Fortunately for me, none of the customers were privy to the story. Apparently, so sources say, if you go along to the riverside at Tilbury. Somewhere in the vast mud flats, you will find a body minus fingers, toes, tongue and teeth and for good measure a pair of bollocks.The tongue was cut out first so the screams and shouts were muffled. The fingers were next. This was to remind him that he could not keep his hands out of where they should not have been. Next went the toes, this was purely so identification would be as hard as possible if he were ever found. Then it was the teeth pulling, one by one, root and all. Again, for identification, no dental records could help.Once that was over and done with then down came the trousers. The bollocks were cut, from arse to shaft and stuffed in his mouth. Left for a while, he bled to death slowly and in agony.Finally being tossed into the boot of the car, driven to and dropped into the mud flats. These are a favourite place to get rid of unwanted trash. When it hits the mud, it spatters up and lets out a.
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