Dad called her a Liar. She called him a philandering cheating son of a bitch. Dad threatened her. The Judge banged his gavel and ordered them to sit and be quiet. The Judge then asked Stella how she had come into possession of the paperwork. Before Stella could answer, I stood. I gave them to her your honor after finding out that my mother is not in fact dead, but that she is actually alive and well, is still sleeping with my dad as often as they are able, even using his office to have sex, and that their affair is still as active as it ever was. The Judge considered that for a moment. He asked me "What were you doing in the safe" and I replied that I was looking for my birth certificate. He asked me if it was there, and I replied that it was, but so was the other paperwork, so I merely copied it all on the printer, and left the originals apart from my birth certificate in the safe. The Judge considered, and decided that there was no theft as the original paperwork was left, and that. Heaven, I thought to myself, I don't think so."And you know what? They are they're both pregnant and will deliver in eight and a half months." She looked at the happy threesome for a moment and said, "There." There what?" I asked."I thought it would be kind of cute if they both delivered twins at the same time." She smiled at me and said, "Angel power." Oh," I answered. I was fast running out of smart-mouthed comebacks. Let me tell you, the great sexual side benefits aside, hanging out with an angel is hard on the nerves.We had our box lunch and chatted with other couples when suddenly right at the stroke of midnight all the doors in the Humper County Community Center blew off their hinges, even the cupboard doors in the kitchen went flying to the floor. When the bathroom door fell away from its hinges, Clementine Stanley was trying to pull her slacks up over her two-hundred-fifty pound ass. She grinned all embarrassed like and struggled all the harder. Willard Flagler took one look.
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