”“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you up?”“Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee.”*The judge asked, “Is your husband a nagger?”“Oh, hell no, he’s as white as you and me!”Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why in hell do you want a divorce?*“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. The damn fool says he can’t communicate with me.”*Love those Canadian East-coast-ers!!!President Donald Trump was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next, when his telephone rang. “Hallo, President Trump” a heavily accented voice said. “This is Archie, up ‘ere at the Harp Seal Pub in Badger’s Cove, Newfoundland. Canada, eh? I am callin’ to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, eh!”“Well Archie,” Donald replied, “This is indeed important news! How big is your army?”“Right now,” said Archie, after a moment’s calculation “there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and. He could use her while her child was being killed so he could feel her pain and hopelessness. His victims despair was like ambrosia on his senses. He stopped as the news anchor excitedly announced an arm waving from the front door of the coffee shop. He watched the television with growing disbelief as a policewoman emerged from the door. His laughter turned to screams of rage when the hostage negotiator emerged with the bitch and her brat.Carlos screamed at the television and grabbing a paper weight, threw it at the screen. The screen cracked but the picture continued to play and the anchor's excited voice continued to narrate what was happening.Moment later a news man was shoving his microphone into the hostage negotiator's face and asked about what had happened inside. Carlos recognized him. He wasn't with the police department. He was the Mafia assassin. He was supposed to have been killed weeks ago. Then the words registered with Carlos."Officer, what happened in there?" the news.
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