So no matter what I do, I’m going to have to deal with somebody like Steve, and I’m going to want to do things I shouldn’t do with you. Now do you see my problem?”“Half of your problem is that you think you have to have a boyfriend so people won’t think you’re a loser. I bring up Tanya again. I’m a guy and I know lots of other guys and not one of them think Tanya’s a lesbian. In fact, you’re the first person who ever said anything like that to me. Maybe you should talk to her about how she does that. The other half of your problem is that you like fooling around and I’m the only guy right now you feel like you can fool around with. You’ve got the rest of the summer and one more year of high school to get through and then you’ll go off to college where you can be on the pill and do whatever you want with whoever you want. If you think about it, why would you care that much what people in this school think about you? They’re not going to college with you. A year from now nobody in this. " Teach you what?"I gave the little person a wide grin. "My job. The unicorn that did thisto me is gone and it looks like you're elected, if you would be sokind." Tell me what sort of a job would a unicorn has except to be sendingfolks like me back home on request. You know leprechauns and unicornshave always had a tight bond in that respect. Unicorns always dowhatever the leprechaun asks them to, if you follow me." Oh, really?" Of course. It's like a tradition. Take that as your job description mylad, and be happy with it. There now, I've taught you everything youneed to know about being a unicorn so send me home." Sorry, but I can't. For one thing, as an American unicorn I wouldn'tthink of it -- without the appropriate payment, and for the next I don'tknow how." Oh, bloody.... Excuse me, are you really as young as you look?" theleprechaun asked, shaking his head."I'm twelve, does that count?" Too young by half if you ask me. What good is it for a unicorn to passon to someone still.
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