Those issues that she didn't choose were still not to be discussed no matter how painful.Once they were seated and comfortable, Dr. Gardner took the list and asked, "Jenny, how could you convince yourself that you'd never cheated when you did every conceivable sexual act known to man?"Jenny swallowed hard, "I came close that first day. One of the men wanted to play the "cheating wife" fantasy with me. He worked hard at seducing me, and after what had gone before, I was very vulnerable. I played along, and before the end of the dance, he asked to come to my apartment. I had gone further with him than I had intended, but what I realized when he asked that question was that I didn't want to have an affair. I didn't want to cheat on my husband. I never allowed that fantasy again, and I always knew that what I was doing was for my husband and not for me. I think that attitude came through. I was never very popular with some of the men. Those that continued to dance with me respected. She knew what she wanted to say, but she lacked the words to express herself fully. She needed to do this. She wanted to do this. It wasn’t the plan that she needed, it was the experience. Sure, she could get her experiences without taking things to this level, but it gave her a framework, a goal, something to focus on while she experimented and experienced everything she could think of sexually. This wasn’t something she needed to do per se, but it was something she wanted, something she felt she had to do. It was almost as if it were a trial, a process she would force herself to undergo, an experience she didn’t choose herself, but to which she was subjected by the forces that drove her through life. Something inside her had developed this idea, and she felt forced to comply with the plan now that she had voiced it. ‘Sara…’ Rebecca tried to get her attention, moving her face into Saras’ line of view. ‘I don’t want to argue with you.’ Sara made the statement with a note of.
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