Gently we writhed our mouths together for another long and nourishing moment, increasing the pressure gradually, then releasing, withdrawing with languid, reluctant slowness, until I opened my eyes and saw hers still closed, blissful, tranquil. Never had I been so close to her mouth or her face, which filled my view and shut out any and all awareness of the universe. My lips were still wet with hers; my lips still felt hers, felt *LIKE* hers; my lips seemed to have disappeared, her own lips taking their place.Gazing raptly, I stroked her cheek.She opened her eyes sleepily. At first they were questioning, uncertain. Then she seemed to come awake and she gently pushed me away."Where," she asked skeptically, "did you learn to kiss like that?" That's the way I kiss." No, Speedy, nobody kisses like that. I bet you picked that up from the movies. You kissed me the way somebody like William Holden kisses." That," I insisted, "is the way I kiss." No. That's the way William Holden kisses." He. It's not a very technical role and the work is fairly dull. When I look back on my life before my divorce, it seems like a monotonous pattern of events. Work, come home, eat, shower up. Fuck sometimes. Go to sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat as the shampoo bottles say.I barely remember her name most days. Her memory is like a photo in someone else's house. Blond hair, blue eyes smiling up at me. But like those photos, I don't know her. I've never met her.The final papers came in the mail four years ago. I signed them and put them in an envelope with too many stamps. Not an absurd number. Maybe four. I stuffed the envelope in one of those big blue mailboxes so it the post office wouldn't lose it.Three years ago, I noticed a teenager in a coffee shop. I went in that shop almost every day on the way home. The shop never seemed busy. It must have been early fall or mid spring. The sunlight had started to fade.I don't think anyone would have noticed her at all if the store had been busy. Maybe.
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