He’d pushed the boy into the room and told him to get to it. Red faced, Ed hung up his towel and stepped into the shower. The room went silent until the coach’s voice boomed out.“Fuck, I guess we’re going to have to call you Mister Ed from now on.”When some of the players asked him what he meant he just told them to look it up. Edward recalled the look of disgust on the man’s face as he left the shower room. When his teammates discovered ‘Mister Ed’ referred to a horse their laughter was a knife in his guts and his shame was complete. He couldn’t help that he was so big. Being called a freak by his teammates was particularly painful even if they did it as a joke. He did his best from that time on to avoid showering with the others either by being first or last. He avoided the coach most of all. When he could. He took to wearing loose fitting pants. Anything to hide his shame.At home he moved his bedroom to the spare room in the basement. There was a small bathroom down there where he. . No, in the harsh light of the lamp I saw several splashes of blood on the sheets as I got up to the tap on the door, daylight still hours away Damn, what had I done?With some trepidation I said goodbye to Nicaragua, making the long trip home.NEW YORK"I'm gonna find me a river, one that's cold as ice.And when I find me that river, lord I'm gonna pay the price, oh lord!I'm goin' down in it three times, but lord I'm only comin' up twice.She's long gone, and now I'm lonesome blue."Hank WilliamsI got back to New York at the same time winter arrived. There was a cold, windblown rain, seemingly coming from the side. It was good to get in my apartment, back to my routine.I thought about Nita, wondering. At times I felt as if I was half in love with her, other times I knew I was. The rest of the time I just felt guilty as hell for what I had done to her. Lying awake in the early morning hours I thought I should write a story, "Innocence Lost."I worked on my various reports for the Central.
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