But even though I thought I did, I didn't. Her trauma wasn't even about me. Her decision hadn't been revoked at all, at least the one about me. She had simply made another one, which I knew nothing about, and which she proceeded, with difficulty to confess. Our tryst in the shower had only convinced her of something she had suspected about herself for a long time. She was a lesbian.Her dalliance was not part of some rebellious expression of her personal rumspringa. It was who she was; and she understood that by accepting that simple fact, she had cut herself off, not only from her family, but from her entire Amish community. Her decision had been made. Rumspringa for her was over, and she had opted for the outside life of the "English" world, the only kind of life that she could pursue as a lesbian.I was stunned. I verged on feeling guilty for my perceived role in driving a wedge between Sarah and her customs, but I knew that was arrogance. I gave her credit for knowing her own heart. That brought out the savage in him. He pushed my knees up against my shoulders and thrust into me with hard stabbing blows. I watched his straining face. I grimaced each time his body slammed into mine, but there really wasn't much pain. It was almost pure pleasure, such pleasure that another orgasm overtook me. Every vital sign of my body elevated and my vaginal muscles clamped onto his cock. The last thought I had before loosing control was wishing I could suppress the noises I make.Just as I passed my peak, with the heels of my feet still urging his thrusts and my noise still out of control, I detected a change in his rhythm followed by the flooding of my cunt with his semen. So much slipperiness. He kept pumping into me even as it leaked out and ran down my bottom onto the bed. He kept pumping until, finally flaccid and out, he lowered his body onto mine, kissing my head and face and lips and neck."Are you married?" I asked."Widowed." He said. I looked at him expectantly, waiting.
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